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(CONT. FROM
BREAKUPS.CO HOME PAGE)
....but when someone decides to leave you intentionally, there is no closure.
There is only immense feelings of rejection and loss of esteem and hope.
They made the willful decision to stop loving you and they made the willful
decision to leave you. But society doesn't allow us to grieve when our
relationships fail and we break up; we are told to just 'get over it' and
move on.
What this means is that we aren't allowed
to constructively work through our pain. We can't build shrines, we can't
have closure rituals, and we, basically, are not even allowed to have good
memories or else we are chastised by well-meaning friends and family.
Oftentimes we are told our lost loved one was a jerk, an asshole, an idiot,
or even a loser. But with death we are told our lost loved ones were 'wonderful'
people.
Although losing someone through death is never welcomed, we do have, at
least, the benefit of knowing that the person we lost loved us and didn't
abandon us on purpose. We also have friends and family who will allow us
to still love that person and not tell us to 'just get over it' or 'let go
and move on'. And with death we are allowed to hang up the deceased person's
pictures, create shrines and have a moving ritual which allows us to mourn
and to say good-bye - all while still allowing us to hold that person precious
to our heart.
But we don't have all those benefits when breaking up with someone we
love. We are just supposed to snap our fingers and magically move on. We
are just supposed to magically 'fall out of love'.
But it's just not that easy; not that
black-and-white. Breaking up is one of the worst, if not THEE worst, experiences
you will ever go through...so...
....welcome to Breakups.co (please note it is .CO and not .COM). We hope
you find some comfort and peace in our pages … comfort to help you recover
from the greatest loss in most people's life: The loss of
love.
Read
Our Breakup Advice Articles
View
our reports on saving your relationship, getting back together, or recovering
from a breakup, narcissists, attraction, nice guys versus bad boys, infidelity,
commitmentphobia, and more
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community and post on our forums
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Guru) Breakup Advice Column
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